Oh fuck

I was going to talk about the WIP, but one of my back mollars, which is looking pretty poorly, has just started aching a bit, and it's sent my anxiety through the roof and blasted all other thoughts out of my head. I really don't want to see the dentist again but I don't think I have any other choice. Fuckit. May have to make an appointment tomorrow, too.

Excuse me while I go curl up in a ball and freak the fuck out.

...Hhh.

Man, okay, so. I cheered up yesterday evening after I talked to my mum and watched Max play Tomb Raider 1 (yeah, classics!). Unfortunately when I finally got to bed it took me a couple of hours to get to sleep, all I could think about were sad things, and when I did get to sleep I dreamt about the pub I grew up in, some of my classmates were there, including the guy I like, but I couldn't hang out with them because I was too busy doing uni work.

Hhhh.

Needless to say this day hasn't been much better (lack of sleep), but it has been better than yesterday, which is good. I got a few parcels sent off to friends, I bought another Durarara!! book and ordered the next one, plus I bought the next Thursday Next book by Jasper Fforde for my dad (he's been really down lately, too).

The class we had today was good, it was really interesting seeing Nick and Chris's portfolios, I know now what mine really needs to look like for our final assesment, I really need to up my game!

Anyway, this is all I've got done so far today, just the roughs for Luce's clothes, and maybe a sword? Because he has a sword. Oh hey, and Rob emailed me back! He's such a good writer, hah. I hope he liked my reply.

Okay, comfort food, some good TV, some hot milk and honey and reading, and then early to bed. We have comic society tomorrow, and then I'll hopefully be having some tea with some good friends, we'll see. And then back to work!

Luce

I POWERED THROUGH! Yeeaaaah! Take that, treacle! Take that perspective! Take that, anatomy!

Yeeeaaaah I know I need to change his shoulders, and his arms are too long. I want to keep working on this but I need to go to bed, I have a class tomorrow at 11am and I need to shower before that. I'm glad I got this much done, though, and I actually kept working. So happy. Aah.

Max suggested I draw him in a military coat, and I highly approve.

I didn't tell him it was supposed to be Lucifer.

Wahahahahah.

I really wanna' go to bed and read some Durarara!! now, but I READ IT ALREADY AAAAH.

I am buying more Durarara!! comics tomorrow and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO CHANGE MY MIND.

BLAAAAAAAARGH

It's one of those days.

It all started with a state of heightened anxiety, and then fizzled out into depression.

Still, trying so hard to get work done, but it's like swimming through treacle.

This is what  I have so far today, I think I'll move on from this one and work on another, working on two at once shouldn't be a difficulty, though the second one was a tricky perspective.

On with Queen of The Damned, and this cup of tea.

I'll be fine tomorrow.

Getting there

Alright, I've narrowed it down to two title fonts, I'm not sure which one I like more! Aah.

The plan for this weekend is to read the first draft of my book and re-write the chapters that apply to the comic covers that I'm doing, so, hopefully I can do that : D Tamlyn Francis, the agent that lectured us today, got me all excited about writing today. UNFORTUNATELY I have inspiration for another story that I'd like to write, so I think for the rest of today, as I'm too tired to work on anything else, I'll just write some of that instead so that I can get it out of my head and move on.

Here's hopin' anyway.

Adios, amigos.

So many fonts, so little time

Okay, so, this is just to help me pick a font for the title, and for my name. I'm happy with the others that I've picked, so it's just those two. The first three are the title fonts - I can't decide which of the three to use, I rather like the weathered looking one, and I know that I should pick a font for the title that best reflects the book as a whole- I've done just that, and also, I think the title looks best in white. Yep.

The last three are my name! Aaah, look how huge. I really like it though, Laurell K. Hamilton has her name on her comics like this, and I think it's a really striking statement... thing. Name. Yeah. But which font? The last two are the same but different colours, I'm not sure which works best.

I've tried a variety of colours and fonts and these are the ones I've kind've landed on. So... What do you think?

This work brought to you by,

Right, I'm off to read comics.

A slow revelation

But first, the conclusion to my current Photoshop woes, and tea and cake with a friend.

Faye and I had a crit this morning, at 9:30, which was bad for me because I stayed up late working, and then my Photoshop died so I stayed up for another hour or so trying to fix it. I managed to get  up today, was about ten minutes late and so sleepy that I could barely keep my eyes open. I am a diligent student and a hard worker, but please don't always expect me to be awake when we're conversing. The crit went well, Glyn basically just told me to do more observational drawing (so true, auh) and character designs and pages and just draw loads of Acheron and Seth. My problem with the project, and it's not really a problem for me but for everyone else, is that Ach and Seth are old characters, I know them like the back of my hand, I don't need to design them/their clothes/their enviroment. But I do, for everyone else, and I kinda' forgot that.

After the crit Fay fixed my Photoshop for me ;-; Thank you lovely, lovely Faye. I paid her back when we went to a little tea shop, I bought her a cup of tea, and one for myself, plus cake for me (I have a pudding deficiency). We talked about Adventure Time and marrying those famous actors we love, hah, and our friend Mouse's characters Merrik and Trixie, because Faye was drawing Mouse a Valentines Day card : ) We headed off to the print fair afterwards, just to check it out, and Mouse gave me a Valentines Day card too! I'm kinda' bummed Glyn didn't use my poster, but whatever man, I can put it in my portfolio, and it came out really nicely (bitterbitterbitter).

Now, onto the revelation.

I spent so much of my childhood, and actually some of my adult life wishing that I would suddenly wake up and have superpowers, that I would be bit by a radioactive spider, or learn to breathe underwater so that I could be a superhero, but then I think most people do, don't they? Hoping that they're special somehow, in a really great, obvious way. No one likes to think they're just like everyone else. You hope that with your awesome superpowers you can help people, save people's lives, and be ridiculously popular and loved. And that's great! I think having that secret wish is brill. But I realised something a few days ago while I was walking to uni.

You're already a superhero. We all are.

Y'see, speaking for myself, I write and I illustrate, and I write and illustrate like no one else on this Earth, and it's all mine. That's my superpower! And yeah, okay, it's not x-ray vision or the ability to fly, but with it, if I really work hard at it, get better, work to train these super skills, I can change the world. Once I'm great enough (and damnit, I will make this happen) I'll be able to affect change, I'll be able to help charities that help and save people's lives, and, hopefully, people will love me, and I'll be popular. Wouldn't that be great? Hahah.

Writing and illustrating is my superpower, I will use it to help save people's lives, to change the world and make it into a better place, and I will be a figure for people to look up to, an inspiration to find their own superpowers, to change the world, for the better.

That was it, really : ) And I know it probably sounds like I'm bigging myself up, there's a chance I may never be great or powerful, that I may never have that kind of influence. There's a chance I might just work in Waterstones for the rest of my life.

But I aspire to be the best that I can be.

And so should you.

ROAR OUT LOUDER!

Okay so, I've put the comic pages up again just to show the panneling, that and the almost inked page two, which is all I've done in about a WEEK due to having a tooth out last Monday which suuuuuuuuucked, and completely wrecked the rest of my week : / But, anway, that's how the panels will look, though some will be slightly altered depending on what is around them, just to make them a bit more interesting to look at.

Secondly, the first comic cover (I have four more to do after this, and have finally decided which to do, so I have an idea as to what they'll look like). I've finished colouring the first, as you can see, and I really like the colours! I added a rough to show where I want the text to go, after studying a few comic covers... and then started adding the text.

This is where it all starts going tits up again. I downloaded a few new fonts for the comic covers, and unfortunately they've screwed up my Photoshop. Whenever I have lots of files open in the program I get program errors, and whenever I hit the Text icon to add text, it stops responding. This is kinda' BAD. I'll hopefully be taking my laptop in tomorrow to see if my friend Faye or any of the nice I.T guys downstairs can take a look at it and try to fix it for me, otherwise I'll have to find someone to re-install Photoshop for me : / Baaauh.

So seeing as I can do little else tonight, I'm going to fuck off and read some more DRRR!! before my crit at 9:30am tomrrow morning.

I hate mornings.

Edit: I'm gonna' pop into London (hahah, who 'pop's into London?) over Easter to recce Covent Garden for a bit of research. Plus I really just love London, so once I've spent some time in Covent Garden I'll be dicking about in Camden and checking out the Sherlock Holmes museum, too. Yep! Later days~

Chris is the hip-hop king

So, I didn't think this evening would be good, I don't like leaving the house to go out in the evenings, I'm a stay at home and read a book kind of girl, y'know? I was sitting in the pub earlier and I knew it was bad when I got excited about a dust mote I'd spotted. 

But then it got really fun!

Glyn said his speech, then Rob (both super funny) and then almost everyone fucked off, including... what's his name, Ben? He's tall and handsome and he has curly hair, and I rather like him. But that was after one of his friends struck up an awkward conversation with me : ) I like that he tried.

I got asked a lot of times this evening if I was okay, I don't like having to tell people that I have an anxiety disorder, but maybe it's for the best *shrug* My friend Faye has a bracelet that she always has to wear, that says 'Penicillin allergy', maybe I should get one that says 'Anxiety disorder'. ANYWAY.

So yeah, most people left, and Sue invited me over to sit with her, so I sat with Rob and his wife, Sue, Chris and a couple other people, and it was really fun :D We talked about films and work and students and dissertations, it was nice just talking shop with a bunch of illustrators.

I left at the same time as Sue and Chris, they had to take the train back to London and my house is near the station so I walked with them, and we ended up in Tescos looking at sushi.

I didn't expect tonight to be so great : ) I'm glad I got to see Rob, I hope he goes off to do awesome stuff, I'm sure he will.

This week has sucked so hard, I had a tooth out of monday and it was pretty horrible, and since then I've been hurting, and super down on myself, so I've got no work done whatsoever. I'm glad I went out this evening, it's lifted my spirits, and I feel really ready to do some work now : ) Cool!

Uuuhm

I think I'm calling this done? I think it's done? Maybe? I don't know, but I've been staring at type faces for a couple of hours now and I think I might be going insane.

Okay, bed time.

It was really cool to get this done in like, three days flat, that doesn't happen often (I usually have more time). However, I don't like her shoulders, and her right arm and hand look awkward, and I think her head is too big. OHWELL.

Hope Glyn likes it enough to put it up around uni, and if not, well, it'll atleast look good in my portfolio.

Yeah okay emails and then bed.

3:27am

Sometimes I get all excited about colouring faces or hands or hair, and I drop what I'm colouring and colour something different instead. Hah. My picture, my rules, man.

It's so late, auuh.

Is anyone else getting a weird urge to watch The Fifth Element?

Yeah, me too.

*Sleeps*

3:12am

Sleep is for the weak!






Well, goodnight!

Sparkle?

Whups, huge file. Ohwell. Inked it, now for colour, and then text, and then a bit of sparkle (Photoshop).

Oh, it's 2am.

Hm.

Stuff and things

It's late, I am tired, I have had an absolutely shit day full of crying and anxiousness and work, here, have some art.

The first is going to be printed on a farewell tea-towel for one of our teachers, Rob, who is retiring very soon (he's really cool). Also it's better than it sounds.

The second is because I accidentally volunteered to do a poster for our print fair to raise money for our exhibition. I dunno', I just wanted to draw a pretty naked lady. There's another guy in our class who seemed pretty up for the job, and he actually, y'know, makes prints, so he'll probably get it. Whatever.

I AM A BIG BALL OF NEGATIVITY.

Also I think my toothache is coming back, and my anxiety, and auuh. At least if I have to make an emergency appointment Sunny said she'd be more than happy to come along, so I don't need to spend another twenty minutes crying on my bed agonising over whether or not I should cancel the appointment.

Hey Black Books was good.

Tomorrow will be better.

Coffee?

I've re-inked this cover illustration for one of my projects, and I'm colouring it now : ) This will hopefully be one of five, wish me luck!

It looks so much better inked properly o 3o Woo.

Look! Colours!

Yo! I've spent the last few days colouring these- just experiments for my finals. I've never used coloured lines before, and I think they came out really well. The lines are thinner than I usually use, and there's less weight to them.

I really like the second one! : D That's Seth up top, Vampire guy, and down below, Star : ) Star is an origional character, like Seth, and he's pretty neat. He's my anxiety illustrated, which is weird because he looks nice and calm, and serene, I think. But... look, there's malice behind those eyes...

Oooh *waves hands*